so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
