no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
