Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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