I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
