Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize