Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
