I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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