I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
