in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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