Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I love you. Go after that dick
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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