apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
