Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
