I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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