College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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