I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
