I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
