well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
