There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
