Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
