What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize