Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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