I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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