a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize