And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
