so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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