let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
