Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
