bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
