But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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