I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she looked like the before picture.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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