adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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