i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
