somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
