So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
