I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
