i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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