her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
