The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
