my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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