he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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