Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
