I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
