I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
