i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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