PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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