In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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