Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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