i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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