I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
