I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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