I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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