ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
