gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
