hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
