I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
