Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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