Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
How external is "for external use only"?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
