Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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